The Pebble Movement

You have come to this page because you either want to share your story of pregnancy and/or infant loss, or you are curious about what our next movement is all about. So, let’s dive straight in.

As a loss Mum myself, I found it really hard to find my ‘audience’. To find the people I could share my story with and get into the nitty gritty. To find the people who could relate, hold space and maybe even help me make a difference after such devastation. And so, I want to be that for you.

I would like to be the keeper of your story. The story of your child, of your heartbreak, of your healing. The space holder for all the deep and gut-wrenching details that you feel like you can’t express, the things that felt wrong and the ways you wish things had been different. The listening ear for all of the things that were done right and all the ways you felt held, secure and able to grieve. The good, the bad, the ugly, I want to help you honour your journey as a parent to your child, free from judgement, commentary or pity.

My vision for this movement is in the writing. Whether you write your story by hand or behind the screen of a computer, the idea is that you are putting the entirety of your experience into words. Be that, what you can remember, what was told to you or just the parts that you feel like sharing. Every single story will be different and every single story is important.

Your story becomes a part of the movement, a part of something bigger, in whatever capacity feels right to you. The end goal is to create a collection or a ‘book’ of sorts, filled to the brim with stories of loss from across Australia, putting a name, a face or even just a page of words to every statistical loss experienced each and every year.

Your story could help in a number of ways. It could be the deidentified story that correlates to the Mothers and Babies Statistics Report each year, personifying the data. It could be the change maker in bereavement care standards around Australia, highlighting the systemic breakdowns in bereavement care, support or training, that eventually promotes positive change. It could be the story of miscarriage, an experience in which statistics are not kept and so the impact of this experience is under supported, underfunded and misunderstood. Maybe your story is the step up that was needed to start the next big Government inquiry. Maybe it is the beginning of finding commonalities and weaknesses or a lack of resources in your local hospital. Maybe it is the prevention of this happening to another family. It could be the doorway to research, grants, funding, change and awareness in the bereavement space. There is power in numbers, in words, in names, in the collective.

Writing down your story can be extraordinarily cathartic. Putting your thoughts, experiences and memories into words can really help work through the minefield in your head you feel you are left with after loss. Writing it down means you can take it at your own pace, in the comfort and privacy of your own home, however that looks. Whether you want to write it all at once or piece by piece, you are the master of your story and you are the only one who can tell it.

If you choose to go down the path of submitting your story to an inquiry, making a complaint or providing feedback to your local hospital or health service, boss or even gym manager, your story is already written and held. The information is written down and fresh, meaning the details are able to be utilised at any stage you need.

If you choose to share your story in its entirety and you are open to public forms of discussion, you are able to put a name and voice to your story, own it completely and rally for change in any way you see fit. If you choose to submit your story but wish for it to be completely confidential or de-identified, your story still matters, your space is still held and the numbers are still reflected in relation to the statistics.

This can be as much or as little as you want it to be and not a single thing will be done with your story or information, unless you have explicitly stated that you wish to be involved. Confidentiality is at the forefront of this movement.

Firstly, writing your story is hard. Putting things into words is emotionally draining and it is highly recommended that if you do wish to participate, that you ensure you have a number of support people or options around you, whether that is a partner, family, friends, a counsellor, psychologist or even a peer from one of the incredible foundations running bereavement call centres in Australia.

There is no time limit on when I want to receive your story by and this offer does not expire. I am able to receive your story whenever you are ready and that is a vital step in itself.

If you have experienced more than one loss, please submit each story separately as each experience is different and equally important. If your partner would like to submit a story from their perspective, this is absolutely OK. It is so important to see the birthing partner’s perspective and treatment in this space as well.

The below checklists will help with writing down your story and will ensure you have captured everything you wanted to add. You can choose to write your story by hand, you can print it out and mail it to me, or you may wish to send it via email. If you wish to mail your submission, please reach out for the mailing address. I have also included the consent information, including whether you would like assistance submitting a complaint, whether you wish to remain anonymous, whether you wish to share your story etc. Please don’t feel your story is any less by not wanting to share it with others.

It takes great courage to put your story into words, to share it, to relive it. Please be kind to yourself and know that there are additional places you can turn to should you need further help through this time and I have listed these below.

When a pebble is thrown into a body of water, no matter how big or small the pebble, it creates a ripple. To me, each and every story is a pebble, creating it’s own ripple, making it’s own sound, forever changing the state and flow of the water surrounding it.

Please head over to our blog post on the support options available to you in this space. If you have any questions, my inbox is always open to you.

I’m so grateful to have you become a part of this movement.

Take a look at our checklists by selecting the button at the bottom of this page, to assist in writing your story and capturing your experiences as a whole. Included, are some consent options including whether you would prefer your story to remain confidential.

I want to thank you for the honour and privilege of allowing me to remember your baby, to hold space for your experience, to honour your journey and to be keeper of your story. You are a pivotal part of this movement and I am so grateful to be trusted with the story of your child.

If you have any questions or concerns, please reach out at madetobloomau@gmail.com